Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Too Close to the Edge

The midnight lake puts its lips
to my eyes and drinks every
starlight wish swimming in hazel.

Not satisfied with the brew of visions
it sends watery death into my lungs
to flood my last breath of July.

Thrashing in waves of lost I am tossed
the life preserver of 1:00 am and a cat
purring rescue across my chest.

Shaken I reach for pen and paper
beside my bed and pray my muse
has escaped the drowning pool of empty.

©Susie Clevenger 2018


  1. At least you retrieved some wonderful imagery from that awful dream.

  2. oh to drown in the disconnect of dreams - the nightmares that leave one gasping for the reality - of breath -
    there is a wonderfully (perhaps not in the dream scenario) disconnect and disjoint to this poem - it captures that whole almost untranslatable reading we often feel and wake-away with when these things happen - which makes this poem, for me, read so authentically, and of course, the images themselves are startling ...
    and how cleverly you've woven them into their own story ...
    I think you've swum through the depths of the darkness to surface - and breathe!
    I love the evocations of each stanza - and the third really is fantastic - the life preserver of 1:a.m. - damn, if each line/word just doesn't flow perfectly here - actually, in the whole piece -
    this is one of those "I wish I'd written this" moments - terrifying fantastic Susie!

  3. The best remedy against horror is to use them for our purpose. That muse escaped. And is flying, too... pen ready birth yum sprinkled with darkness.

  4. What an opening! What a dream, Susie! I love the phrases 'drinks every
    starlight wish swimming in hazel'; 'flood my last breath of July' and 'escaped the drowning pool of empty'.

  5. What an incredible piece.

    "and pray my muse
    has escaped the drowning pool of empty."

    Clearly she has.

  6. Oh how nightmares can be... I never remember mine, but waking up in the night I know well

  7. That opening verse is terrific...

  8. I love the phrase "drinks every starlight wish swimming in hazel".. so beautiful 💜

  9. What a vivid nightmare...and told in every detail. Love the metaphors here.

  10. Ah, such nightmares act as a muse for some interesting penmanship, as is showcased in this verse.

  11. This is wonderful in every way. I feel the weight of the drenching. I especially like 'the lake puts its lips to my eyes and 'in waves of loss I am tossed.'

  12. here's to being rescued - and a scary dream being put to good use.