Open Wound

 

The sun rises 

with its murder of crows, 

and I fight the spoon 

that feeds me another

hour of prayers unanswered. 

Is there a god who doesn’t 

bind me to a hymn that

sings only heaven will

bring freedom? 

The gravel beneath my feet

never grows softer. 

My spirit is too raw to 

even form a scar. 

I’ve bled my heart into

journal pages, carried matches

to light candles that never stay lit. 

I’m so weary I’ve grown deaf

to my bones begging me to rest. 

I fear I’m becoming as silent

as those I thought would speak. 

Susie Clevenger 2023

 

 

I've Never Lost My Shoes

Is this tomorrow

or am I still on

today’s treadmill?

I’m beginning to wonder

where I fit in other than

on trauma’s fist.

In my everything’s coming up roses

I am making bouquets out of dry petals.

Questions flower on my tongue

only to be met by the drought of no answers.

Lately I’ve been screaming in empty rooms

where my voice disappears into nail holes

I’ve hammered in my gallery of goodbyes.

There is weakness in strength, fear in being brave.

I’m tired of having to cross another valley,

but grateful I’ve never lost my shoes. 

©Susie Clevenger 2023

What's Going On?

I Can’t Breathe Through Gray

There was a time

when no matter

how much rain

fell through my spirit

I wouldn’t drown.

Today is tears

in a field of dreams

I cannot harvest.

Blinded by why

I feel as a corpse

too dry to even

be a feast for worms.

I take a deep breath

hoping to fill my lungs

with color, only to

choke on the scent

of gray.

©Susie Clevenger 2023

Rebel Is My Safe Word

Sunday threatens with

its black candle sky,

a summer storm

merging with the

darkness in me.

Livid lightning bolts

flash from my eyes

striking, “Enough!”,

as I stare at your

smug expression.

Your hand on my arm

is not a request, but a command.

There’s not enough ice cream

in hell to tempt me to leave with you.

Whatever you think you have,

is nothing I want … You’re merely

a beer Romeo who thinks

every woman is eager 

to be your plaything.

I didn’t walk in this bar alone.

Look over your shoulder.

Those women know a death star

when they see one.

All I have to say is one word, “rebel”, and they

will become the war you won’t win.

©Susie Clevenger 2023

Mushroom of Gossip

She’s a storyteller,

a woman in white,

cage of black, spilling

my mad love into the ear

of the giver of stars.

A god, damning

me for the moments

at midnight, judging

my weakness by narrow

verse, she hangs me on

opinion’s tongue forgetting

I only grow stronger in affliction. 

Starlight tests the mushroom of gossip,

sifts through foul soil of its roots,

and finds the gaslight it feeds on.

A storyteller, who would be god,

discovers the shadow words

she hoped to crucify me with

are now the cage she must survive. 

©Susie Clevenger 2023

I was looking at my bookshelf, and found these five books stacked exactly as you see them. They are th inspiration for this poem. 

 

Strings on My Chest

 

There’s a lot of miles on these guitar strings.

They’ve played every broken bottle, drug,

and trainwreck city I’ve left pieces of me in.

She knows more of my secrets than a fortune teller

reading hell through a crystal ball, or a lover 

who’s left fingerprints on my skin.

When I die, bury me with a guitar on my chest,

because whether its God or devil who claims my bones

my spirit will still be rocking this third stone from the sun.

©Susie Clevenger 2023

The Sunday Muse #244

"third stone from the sun" is a Jimi Hendrix reference.

"Third Stone from the Sun" (or "3rd Stone from the Sun") is a mostly instrumental composition by American musician Jimi Hendrix. It incorporates several musical approaches, including jazz and psychedelic rock, with brief spoken passages. The title reflects Hendrix's interest in science fiction and is a reference to Earth in its position as the third planet away from the sun in the solar system.

Hendrix developed elements of the piece prior to forming his group, the Jimi Hendrix Experience. The Experience recorded versions as early as December 1966, and, in 1967, it was included on their debut album Are You Experienced. Several artists have recorded renditions and others have adapted the guitar melody line for other songs.

Third Stone From the Sun

For those who prefer a more known Hendrix song...here your go

Emphasis of NO

 "I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies."
- Darynda Jones.

In the weedy, overgrown
garden of my mind lucid
stomps its foot like an impatient child,
and demands I pluck dandelions
from the edge of my teeth
to at least form a sentence 
of more than one syllable.

I feel saying no doesn’t demand
adjectives, excuses, or explanation.
There isn’t an obscure essay buried
in my throat filled with paragraphs
of reasoning…just two letters, 
a verbal stop sign, NO.

The blackbird in me, dare I say Raven,
prefers the watcher’s perch to the
chattery bluster of raking my thoughts
to reassure sanity I haven’t slipped 
into my dotage.

So, what if I appear to be a faded yellow magnolia.
Consider the flower’s pod that appears to be
a mere dried cone, but inside is bright blooded
with red berries…I’m not everything I think
nor everything one sees.

Rather than hold court in my own head
arguing there is more than enough evidence
I have not lost my mind, I just address the
pestering interrogation with my sworn
testimony of truth, “No.” 

Susie Clevenger 2023

Word Garden Word List ~ William Wordsworth