Friday, March 15, 2024

Insanity Is a Parking Lot




I roam like a withered cloud,
the white foam of cotton
against blue long gone.

Why isn’t there comfort in madness?

My mind builds a memorial for every demon
that has left its footprint on my chest.
There is no ink in dead flowers, yet I chase
their petals trying to find enough color
to fill a single thought. 

Is sanity a stroke of luck or a creature
some can tame while others are cursed 
with feral.

I wish unfinished would leave bread crumbs
so my brain could be tricked into believing
life had a map.

Insanity is a parking lot where I watch
everyone escape, but me.

Susie Clevenger 2024

Thursday, September 28, 2023

Open Wound

 


The sun rises 

with its murder of crows, 

and I fight the spoon 

that feeds me another

hour of prayers unanswered. 


Is there a god who doesn’t 

bind me to a hymn that

sings only heaven will

bring freedom? 


The gravel beneath my feet

never grows softer. 

My spirit is too raw to 

even form a scar. 


I’ve bled my heart into

journal pages, carried matches

to light candles that never stay lit. 


I’m so weary I’ve grown deaf

to my bones begging me to rest. 


I fear I’m becoming as silent

as those I thought would speak. 


Susie Clevenger 2023

 

 


Sunday, September 10, 2023

I've Never Lost My Shoes



Is this tomorrow
or am I still on
today’s treadmill?

I’m beginning to wonder
where I fit in other than
on trauma’s fist.

In my everything’s coming up roses
I am making bouquets out of dry petals.
Questions flower on my tongue
only to be met by the drought of no answers.

Lately I’ve been screaming in empty rooms
where my voice disappears into nail holes
I’ve hammered in my gallery of goodbyes.

There is weakness in strength, fear in being brave.
I’m tired of having to cross another valley,
but grateful I’ve never lost my shoes. 

©Susie Clevenger 2023


Friday, July 7, 2023

I Can’t Breathe Through Gray


There was a time
when no matter
how much rain
fell through my spirit
I wouldn’t drown.

Today is tears
in a field of dreams
I cannot harvest.

Blinded by why
I feel as a corpse
too dry to even
be a feast for worms.

I take a deep breath
hoping to fill my lungs
with color, only to
choke on the scent
of gray.

©Susie Clevenger 2023


Thursday, May 4, 2023

Rebel Is My Safe Word



Sunday threatens with
its black candle sky,
a summer storm
merging with the
darkness in me.

Livid lightning bolts
flash from my eyes
striking, “Enough!”,
as I stare at your
smug expression.

Your hand on my arm
is not a request, but a command.
There’s not enough ice cream
in hell to tempt me to leave with you.

Whatever you think you have,
is nothing I want … You’re merely
a beer Romeo who thinks
every woman is eager 
to be your plaything.

I didn’t walk in this bar alone.
Look over your shoulder.
Those women know a death star
when they see one.

All I have to say is one word, “rebel”, and they
will become the war you won’t win.

©Susie Clevenger 2023


Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Mushroom of Gossip












She’s a storyteller,
a woman in white,
cage of black, spilling
my mad love into the ear
of the giver of stars.

A god, damning
me for the moments
at midnight, judging
my weakness by narrow
verse, she hangs me on
opinion’s tongue forgetting
I only grow stronger in affliction. 

Starlight tests the mushroom of gossip,
sifts through foul soil of its roots,
and finds the gaslight it feeds on.

A storyteller, who would be god,
discovers the shadow words
she hoped to crucify me with
are now the cage she must survive. 


©Susie Clevenger 2023



I was looking at my bookshelf, and found these five books stacked exactly as you see them. They are th inspiration for this poem. 



 

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Strings on My Chest

 


There’s a lot of miles on these guitar strings.
They’ve played every broken bottle, drug,
and trainwreck city I’ve left pieces of me in.

She knows more of my secrets than a fortune teller
reading hell through a crystal ball, or a lover 
who’s left fingerprints on my skin.

When I die, bury me with a guitar on my chest,
because whether its God or devil who claims my bones
my spirit will still be rocking this third stone from the sun.

©Susie Clevenger 2023


"third stone from the sun" is a Jimi Hendrix reference.
"Third Stone from the Sun" (or "3rd Stone from the Sun") is a mostly instrumental composition by American musician Jimi Hendrix. It incorporates several musical approaches, including jazz and psychedelic rock, with brief spoken passages. The title reflects Hendrix's interest in science fiction and is a reference to Earth in its position as the third planet away from the sun in the solar system.

Hendrix developed elements of the piece prior to forming his group, the Jimi Hendrix Experience. The Experience recorded versions as early as December 1966, and, in 1967, it was included on their debut album Are You Experienced. Several artists have recorded renditions and others have adapted the guitar melody line for other songs.



For those who prefer a more known Hendrix song...here your go