Sunday, October 20, 2019

Reconstruction

The Architect by Erik Johansson

I draw myself inside out,
the living me uncovered,
uncensored, rooms full of gems
and rotten fruit.

Vulnerable tastes like cheap wine,
the kind that gives indigestion,
a false bravado too drunk
to weigh consequences.

I am of wild dreams, foul words,
heart bleed, civil war between
night monsters and forgiveness,
and a mind that sleeps but never rests.

This blood letting of black ink collects
on white pages, spills around my feet
in an origami hell of crushing frustration.

I don’t know where I will stand after demolition,
when buzzards circle to pluck truth into rumor.
Freedom will leave scars, friends will try to rebirth me
to fit into their acceptance and enemies will gold eye glee.

I am done carrying weight, reorganizing my crazy,
dancing to the tune of suggestions I get over
what I am working through… I am doing all I can
to stand up while falling.

 ©Susie Clevenger 2019

Dedicated to those who struggle with depression.


8 comments:

  1. Susie, this is your Major Opus. It is so good, so full of strength and truth. "I am doing all I can to stand up while falling." Which is the very best we can do. So many wonderful lines. A fantastic write, my friend.

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  2. Reconstruction can be extremely hard. These lines resonate with me and are both chilling and beautifully woven in ink. Your journey has been painful but your deep inner strength has carried you this far. I adore the closing lines and my heart goes out to all that suffer from depression. 💙 I also love how you write with such a brave honesty! This is heart stirring and amazing Susie!

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  3. Wow to the whole poem and that ending is priceless. Well done!

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  4. ". . . . in an origami hell of crushing frustration"

    This line really got to me, summarising just what life is sometimes.
    Beautifully written, Susie.

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  5. And there it is, your trademark kick-ass ending!

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  6. Very strong write Susie! I love the way the final line ties up the essence of the piece into a punch. “doing all I can to stand up while falling”. A potent statement of universality.

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  7. This is a Masterpiece, Susie!

    "I am of wild dreams, foul words,
    heart bleed, civil war between
    night monsters and forgiveness,
    and a mind that sleeps but never rests."

    "I am done carrying weight, reorganizing my crazy,
    dancing to the tune of suggestions I get over
    what I am working through… I am doing all I can
    to stand up while falling."

    Thank you for this.

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